We won't sleep together?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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