Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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