New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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