I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
