I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
