So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
