I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
