I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
