omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
