I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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