I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i used baking grease as lip gloss
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
