Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
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The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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