Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize