It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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