Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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