nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
