Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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