He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
