Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
