I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize