# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
