I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
