what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i out mim tonsoeep
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