So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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