Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
