We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
People in love make me want to vomit
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
