Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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