Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize