i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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