fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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