dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
