I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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