Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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