just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize