Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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