billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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