you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
