this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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