i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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