I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.