No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.