Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(850): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.

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(850): I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did. http://tfl.nu/zdnh

Replies (9) Good night (3703) Bad night (595)
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(313): View more from Michigan

theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.

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(313): theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen. http://tfl.nu/by0t

Replies (16) Good night (1811) Bad night (3442)
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(440): View more from Ohio

my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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(440): my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement. http://tfl.nu/zd8a

Replies (16) Good night (5882) Bad night (1715)
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(702): View more from Nevada

So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

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(702): So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers. http://tfl.nu/tlh4

Replies (11) Good night (786) Bad night (2199)
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(713): View more from Texas

The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas

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(713): The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas http://tfl.nu/0bvq

Replies (3) Good night (2696) Bad night (882)
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(619): View more from California

Be still, my beating vagina.

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(619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal

Replies (22) Good night (4626) Bad night (1226)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians

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(248): I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians http://tfl.nu/d2hy

Replies (5) Good night (2105) Bad night (718)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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(519): He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier. http://tfl.nu/icz2

Replies (9) Good night (3810) Bad night (1184)
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(513): View more from Ohio

he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"

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(513): he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you" http://tfl.nu/exld

Replies (20) Good night (2573) Bad night (1141)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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(570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q

Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (578)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!

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(201): I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine. (1-201): Why is there even a knowledge base for that?! http://tfl.nu/9uxx

Replies (7) Good night (1205) Bad night (596)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

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(603): You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces http://tfl.nu/ks18

Replies (6) Good night (1155) Bad night (555)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked

(1+66): View more from

oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you

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(+66): i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked (1+66): oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you http://tfl.nu/vprd

Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (368)
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(425): View more from Washington

I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later

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(425): I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later http://tfl.nu/4jkk

Replies (3) Good night (1247) Bad night (396)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude

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(417): You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude http://tfl.nu/zezo

Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (391)

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