party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
