highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.