theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.