dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My dick has a subreddit
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night