Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(623): View more from Arizona

highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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(515): View more from Iowa

Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

my vagina's been through so much this weekend

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first

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(248): View more from Michigan

My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?

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(847): View more from Illinois

You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.

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