I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
