I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
