curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
