I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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