why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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