Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
