screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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