The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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