I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
