Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize