My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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