She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
