white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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