Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
