Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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