What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
And then he peed in my hair
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