yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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